forty-two.

It seems that the times when I am most likely to blog are the times when I should be working. I have four exams, a group project and a paper on a 300 page book that I still have 150 pages left to read, all due next week. I wonder why professors insist on torturing me so much with all this work, when I still have finals to take after all that is done. I suppose it's partially the fault of the four snow days we've had this semester, but I feel as if I will never make it through this week.

I have found myself complaining about this semester a lot lately. I think a lot of my complaints are justified. This semester has been academically tough and emotionally shitty, though I still have a good life and I still have an awesome God protecting me, even though sometimes I don't feel that way. I was quite relieved when my previewer for Campus Preview Weekend awkwardly decided to stay in the hotel with her mom; I didn't have time to hang out with her anyway, and quite frankly, I've grown to enjoy the alone time in my room. But I wonder when my mood swings will dissipate and I will feel like myself again. I suppose I've changed a lot in the past year, but this much sadness is certainly not normal for me. I don't think I'll ever go back to being the bubbly overly-enthusiastic freshman. I turned into this busy, slightly pessimistic and more grown-up sophomore. I wonder what I will be like as a junior. I wonder if it will be a good year or if I will let myself fall and refuse to get back up. I think it will be another tough year, but a good year. I hope so at least.

Giving up red meat in the Great Hall is harder than I thought it would be. It's not so much that I miss burgers and tacos, but there is red meat in practically everything, or at least that's how it seems. Being a flexitarian is both a challenge and an adventure. We'll see how it goes. I'm also trying to cut the sugar out of my coffee. Not because I eat too much sugar or I'm trying to lose weight, but because I use so little as it is and it would be much simpler to just pour a cup and leave. It's working well so far, but I've been drinking Selah's hazelnut coffee, so that might not count. I want to start running as well. I don't like running. I don't like pushing myself beyond my limits to the point where I'm in pain, but I do like running in short amounts of time. It's been too easy for me to say it's too hot outside or I'm too busy. Both are true, but I have pushed just about everything aside by saying I'm too busy, yet I find time to blog about it.

On that note, back to work I go.